In the Dark of Night
by EvilRegalOncer
Summary: Astra's time in the Phantom Zone torments her, and for some inane reason, Alex wants to help. Whether or not Astra wants it is another matter entirely. Pre-femslash.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Not mine.**

 **God, I love this show. I'm so angry they killed Astra, though.**

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Alex Danvers nearly spills her coffee in shock as she hears screaming.

Granted, at the DEO it's not uncommon to hear some noise every now and again from one of the aliens inhabiting the underground bunker, but usually it's muffled by the thick walls and doors between the cell block and the main control room. The fact that it's now 2:45 in the morning also means that most of the prisoners are asleep, or doing whatever passes for sleep in their species. But Alex has never heard screaming like this before, and she knows for a fact that she's the only agent still here. If Hank—J'onn—knew, he'd have a fit, but she's desperate to try and find out what the Rozz escapees are planning before it's too late. Besides, it's obviously tearing Kara apart to consider her aunt her enemy, and the sooner this ends, the better it will be for her.

Speaking of which.

Alex nearly sprints down the corridor, her hand on her gun even though she instinctively knows she won't need it. The screaming gets louder and louder, heartbroken, agonized screams, and it tears at her heart as she skids to a stop in front of one of the cell doors and hastily punches in the code to unlock it. It seems to take forever for the slab of steel to retract into the wall, but once there's a gap big enough for Alex to slip through, she does so immediately. "General!" she shouts, eyes going wide at the sight before her. Even with the screaming, she never expected….this.

The proud, fierce Kryptonian general is lying on the floor of her cell, her body spasming and contorting as if she's in unbearable pain. Her hands slam against the floor, and Alex takes a moment to be grateful for the kryptonite inhibitors that are probably the only reason the cell is still standing. With a jolt of shock, she sees tears running down the alien woman's face. "KARA!" Astra screams, thrashing so violently that it's a wonder she hasn't broken anything. "KARA!"

Alex moves without thinking, opening the cell door and stepping inside. She isn't really sure how to wake the woman up without getting a fist to the face, but Astra must be a really light sleeper, because as soon as Alex nears her, her eyes snap open and she knocks Alex's feet from beneath her. The human woman is caught totally off guard, and she lets out a yelp of surprise as she crashes to the ground.

Astra rolls to her feet and then stops, staring down at the agent. "Brave one?"

"Don't call me that," Alex groans, sitting up and rubbing her bruised ass. "That's what I get for trying to be nice."

"Would you prefer 'Helgrimmite killer'?" Astra asks with an attitude that on anyone else would be called 'mischievous'. Alex rolls her eyes, but before she can say anything else, the taller woman frowns. "What are you doing in here?"

"You were screaming in your sleep." Alex slowly pushes herself to her feet. "Screaming for Kara."

Astra's face goes completely blank. Alex can almost see the walls dropping into place, see the key turning in the lock. "You need not concern yourself with me." She turns away. "You may leave, Agent Danvers."

Alex blows out a breath, runs a hand through her hair. Damn her if she knows why (she does know; it's Kara, always Kara), but she feels…wrong…leaving Astra alone like this. "Kara had nightmares when she first got here. Sometimes she still does. I know a bad dream when I see one."

"This is none of your concern," Astra hisses, turning back to face her. With a chill, Alex realizes the cell door is still open, although the Kryptonian either doesn't realize this or doesn't care. Then again, with the kryptonite inhibitors in effect, Alex would probably be fast enough to get a shot off if Astra chose to make a break for it. She slowly steps in between Astra and the door, a move that doesn't go unnoticed. The taller woman snorts and rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. If I wanted to be out, I would be."

"A prisoner who doesn't want to escape?" Alex crosses her arms.

Astra smiles, the expression soft and gentle. It looks oddly out of place on her normally-stoic features, but something in Alex's chest leaps at the sight. "I get to see my niece more often when I'm here."

She's good at reading people, and there's no deception in Astra's eyes. She really is here just for Kara. Granted, that does nothing to improve Alex's opinion of her sanity, but….."You really love her," Alex says quietly.

"I would die for her. She is as precious to me as my own child would be." Pain flashes through Astra's eyes. "But she despises me."

"Well, you are a crazed ecoterrorist," Alex says bluntly. "She's all about protecting people and you're all about killing them."

"I am trying to save this planet!" Astra isn't that much taller than Alex is, but suddenly she's looming over the human woman, her hazel eyes burning with anger. "Your kind are an infection, a plague; you take and take and think nothing of the consequences! I could not save Krypton, but I swear by the blood in my veins that I will die before I let the earth suffer its fate!"

Okay, this is….kind of terrifying. Alex doesn't scare easily, but right now she's pretty sure that if Astra were at full power, she would have been incinerated. She backs up instinctively until her knees hit the small lip of stone against the wall, but she doesn't back down, staring right up into Astra's eyes. They stand like that for a moment before something like a smile crosses the Kryptonian's lips. "I was right about you. You have the heart of a true warrior."

Alex's heart is beating hard. Absently she wonders how she never noticed before that Astra's eyes really are beautiful. Her own eyes are brown, of course, and Kara's are blue, but Astra's eyes are this lovely shade of blue-grey-green and—where the fuck did that come from? She licks her suddenly dry lips; Astra is way too close. "Move."

"Your heart is racing, brave one." Astra strokes her cheek. "Are you afraid?"

"I'm not afraid of anything you can do to me." The only thing Alex truly fears is losing her family, but she's not about to admit that to Astra, even if Astra probably already knows. "And right now, I'm pretty sure I could wipe the floor with you."

Astra leans in and noses Alex's neck, and Alex can't quite hold back a soft gasp of surprise and…..something else that makes her feel like her muscles are liquidizing into magma. The Kryptonian lingers for a moment before stepping back almost lazily, letting Alex move from her trapped position. There's a sly look on Astra's face that Alex doesn't like at all, but her eyes are soft as she says, "Good night, Agent Danvers."

Alex has to force herself not to bolt from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Not mine.**

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Nearly a week passes without so much as a sneeze from Astra, although Alex has been under forcible house arrest for the last three nights after Kara found out just how many all-nighters her big sister had pulled recently. Alex was, as ever, powerless against Kara's puppy-dog eyes, and so when the blonde had asked Alex to go home and get some sleep, she really hadn't had a choice in the matter. The fact that Kara also took it upon herself to become a human octopus and sleep in Alex's bed with her at night to make sure the brunette stayed put meant that there was next to no chance of her even getting anything done on her laptop. In short, if it had been anyone but Kara, Alex would probably be running on Red Bull and coffee at this point.

She's trying not to think too hard about…..whatever the _hell_ happened between her and Astra that night. The general is a master at strategy and tactics, and Alex has no doubt that the whole episode had been some kind of attempt to use her. Astra may love Kara, but she's made it clear that she holds the human race in contempt, even if those humans are her niece's adopted family. There's no way she could actually be making…. _advances_ ….like that on Alex

Luckily, tonight Kara is staying late at the office, which means she's not around to forcibly drag her big sister home. Alex has just poured herself a nice fresh cup of coffee when the screaming starts, but this time she doesn't feel the need to rush. Hell, she almost doesn't feel the need to investigate at all, but then the guilt kicks in and she remembers (unwelcomed) how terrified Kara was upon first arriving on Earth and how she had terrible dreams almost every night for the first year and a half of her life here. Astra is a woman grown, of course, and she didn't see Krypton blown up, but Fort Rozz sounds like a hellscape and the Phantom Zone even worse. God knows what the general is seeing in her sleep.

Alex sighs as she enters the room and sees Astra on the floor again, convulsing as if in the throes of a seizure. She's not keen for a repeat of last time, so she raps on the glass wall, knowing the noise will be enough to rouse Astra. "Hey, General, wake up."

She's facing Astra through the wall, but when the Kryptonian wakes, she rolls over so that her back is to Alex. The room goes completely silent, and Alex barely even dares to breathe as Astra slowly pushes herself into a sitting position. A moment passes, and then, with a thrill of absolute shock, Alex sees the general's shoulders beginning to shake. "Kara," she whispers, sounding utterly broken. "Kara…."

It feels profoundly wrong to be seeing Astra this vulnerable. In spite of her heightened senses, Alex is almost positive the Kryptonian hasn't registered her presence yet, so lost is she in the aftermath of her nightmare. Slowly, slowly, she gets to her feet, intending to slip out, but her knee pops in the silence and Astra's spine goes rigid. Alex freezes. Seconds pass until Astra says, her voice harsh, "I thought you'd given up on coddling me after our last meeting."

"My sister dragged me home the last few nights, so I couldn't exactly refuse her." Alex puts more emphasis on the first two words than she strictly needs to, but Astra needs to be reminded that, regardless of her opinion, she's not Kara's only family. "She thinks it's her job to make sure I'm sleeping properly."

"She takes the world upon her shoulders and asks for nothing in return. That burden would destroy anyone lesser." The Kryptonian takes one of her hands off the floor, making a movement that Alex can't see, but from the angle of her shoulder and upper arm it looks like she's touching her face. Alex's stomach twists at the thought of Astra crying, although damn her if she knows why. "Tell me, would you have come to me again had you known?"

Alex blinks. Isn't the answer obvious? She's right here, after all. "If you have to ask me that, you're not a very good general."

Astra snorts softly and finally turns to face the human. Her expression is calm, composed, but there is the faintest hint of pink around the edges of her eyes. "Forgive me if my mental faculties are not at their sharpest in the middle of the night."

Alex steels herself and drops her eyes, suddenly unsure. What she's about to say might shatter the fragile…..whatever it is they have between them, but this can't go on. For either of their sakes. "I'm guessing your nightmares are about Fort Rozz and the Phantom Zone. Your sister's hologram told me about both of them, and quite frankly, it sounds like hell. Believe me when I say that the dreams won't go away on their own, so you might as well tell me about them."

Astra makes a strange sound, and when Alex looks up, her eyes are glassy. "Alura? She's here?" she whispers.

"Sort of. The DEO built a sanctuary for Kara using some salvaged Krypton tech. There's a hologram of her mom in there that gives her information and advice, but….it's not really her." She allows some bite to creep into her voice. "Kara asked it why Alura used her to catch you and it didn't know the answer. That hurt her a lot."

Astra ducks her head, her curly hair falling forward to hide her face. Her breathing is shaky, and suddenly Alex feels kind of bad. The general had probably been close with her sister once, as close as Alex and Kara are now. If Kara sent her to prison, or the reverse happened…..god, Alex feels like her chest is coming apart just thinking about it. And it's hardly surprising that any pain Astra causes Kara is going to hurt the older woman like a bitch, no matter how minor it may be. Alex knows that feeling all too well.

"Why are you here?" Astra's voice breaks the silence, small and trembling. "If my own niece hates me, you should too."

"You matter to Kara. And Kara matters to me. If you think she hates you, then you don't know the first thing about her." Alex smiles. "You know, I'm not even sure she's capable of hating anyone. It's just not in her nature." She still holds a grudge against those who had bullied and mocked her sister in middle and high school, but Kara forgave them a long time ago.

"She's like her mother. Foolish and naïve, trusting….she doesn't know how dark the world is. But you do."

She can't really argue against that. Kara sees the world through rose-tinted lenses, always believing the best of anyone she meets, alien or human. Alex knows better, but she'll be damned if that ugly, suffocating darkness ever touches her sister. Kara is too good for that, and Alex will wade through rivers of blood if that's what it takes to keep her little sister's hands clean. She curls her own hands into fists. "Yeah. That's what makes her different than me." _Better than me_ , she almost says but doesn't.

Sometimes she misses her innocence.

"Do you resent her for the burdens you've had to shoulder? Your family has nothing to do with this and yet because of Kara, you're at war." From anyone else it might be called a loaded question, but there's nothing on Astra's face save for honest curiosity. Whatever the answer is, Astra won't let it affect her judgment of the agent.

Alex doesn't have to think twice before shaking her head. "Never. She's my sister and I love her, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. I've wanted to be a hero my whole life, and while I can't do what Kara does….I can do something. That's good enough."

"A hero?" Astra repeats, scornful. "You're nothing without her. You don't deserve her. You think yourself worthy to be called her sister simply because she lived with you after she came here? You are a human, and she is a daughter of the noble house of El, a daughter of Krypton." The general's lip curls. "You are like an insect compared to her."

Anger rolls through Alex, hot and sharp, and she all but snarls her reply. "You were the one who abandoned her when you decided that murdering people was an acceptable way to save them. It's your fault you were in Rozz and your fault you're down here, and it's your fault that Kara isn't ever going to trust you again! You knew her until she was thirteen, but she is my _sister_ and I'm never going to abandon her the way you did!" She slams her fist against the glass, watching with grim satisfaction as Astra jumps in shock. "So rot in here. I won't bother coming in again. Next time you find yourself in the Phantom Zone, you'll be alone." She stands up. "I don't know why I ever thought you could be something more than an insane terrorist. But believe me, it won't happen again."

Alex storms out without waiting for Astra's response.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Not mine.**

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I admit that I may have been…unwise…..in my reaction to Agent Danvers last night. I of all people should know better than to allow my own feelings to cloud my judgment in situations where a calm mind is needed. I have more respect for Agent Danvers than I do for any other human I have met thus far. She has exhibited all the qualities I would wish for in my own troops—valor, a sharp mind, exceptional combat skills, a willingness to do what must be done, and above all, the knowledge that sometimes the world must be seen in shades of gray instead of simple black and white. That is something I know Kara could never understand. Alura certainly didn't.

Rao, what I would not give to speak to that hologram but once.

I do not wish to beg the human's pardon like a scolded child, but she is the closest thing I have to an ally here while my little one refuses to speak to me. It would be the height of folly to squander such a connection out of simple pride. Why Agent Danvers tries to help me is nothing short of baffling, but in this room full of kryptonite I am helpless against any who may wish to cause me harm. Right now she is my one asset, and I cannot allow that to go to waste.

There is a small button in my cell that allows me to call for assistance should I need it, and I do not hesitate in pressing it and requesting Agent Danvers' presence in my cell as soon as she is able to come. I detest apologizing, but like her, I understand that necessity overrides my own personal opinions. In any case, she is the closest I can be to Kara right now.

I am uncertain how much time has passed when the door hisses open and Agent Danvers steps into my cell. She looks rather vexed as she crosses her arms over her chest and says, "The only reason I'm here is because my refusal would look weird. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can go back to work. What do you want?"

Her tone makes my lip curl in irritation, but I force myself to calm. She has every right to be upset after how I treated her. I clasp my hands behind my back and lift my chin, although I do not look her directly in the eyes. Such a move is confrontational and right now I wish to be—well, I will never be _submissive_ to a mere human, but nor do I wish to provoke her. "I would like to express my regret for how I behaved last night. Such an action was rash and undeserved on your part. I offer you my sincere apology."

She stares at me as if I had just announced that I intended to aim for leadership of this country. Which is not a bad idea, but according to my research, I am ineligible on the basis of not being born here. A shame, truly. I would lead much better than whatever imbecile is currently in office. "You're saying _sorry_?" she finally asks, sounding utterly nonplussed.

"I am. You are my lone asset in this place, or at least the closest I have to one. Allowing my own feelings to interfere with that is nothing short of foolish, and a fool I am not."

"You have _feelings_? That's a shock," Agent Danvers mutters.

"I am not the monster you make me out to be." I stare into her eyes. Locking gazes on that first night seemed to lower her defenses, so I am hoping the tactic will work again. "I have told you that I love Kara. What I do, I do for her. It was only sheer luck that she managed to escape Krypton before its demise, but she lost everyone and everything she held dear. I will not allow her to suffer through such pain again, and if that means taking lives, then so be it."

She stares at me for a moment and then slowly shakes her head. "You really are crazy."

" _I think you went crazy in Fort Rozz. I think you stared into miles of pitch-black space until everything good inside of you died!"_ Kara's words pierce me like a lance, and I cannot hide the pain they cause. I turn away, not wishing for Agent Danvers to see me compromised any further than she already has. "I have presented my apology. That is all I wished to do."

The sound of Agent Danvers' heartbeat does not fade, but I do not know how much longer I can contain myself. However strong my resolve is not to show her any more weakness, my little one's words to me hurt more than kryptonite ever could. It takes every bit of control I have not to make a sound, but I am not strong enough to hold back the tears any longer. They slip silently down my face as I lean my forehead against the glass and close my eyes. I would not take back my actions, whatever consequences they may have brought me, but I long for my home on Krypton as I never have before.

I long for my family.

"When Kara can't sleep, she uses this….chamomile tea stuff. I'll try to get you some before I leave tonight, and maybe that will help." Agent Danvers sounds almost gentle. "Whatever is in it, it apparently works even on Kryptonians."

"Why would you care?" My voice trembles.

"Because even though you hate my guts and you're not my favorite person, Kara makes us family. And I look out for my family." I can hear the slight smile in her voice. "Besides, I can't get any work done with you screaming all the time."

I will never understand humans. Least of all this one. But I cannot deny my respect for her grows and my disdain diminishes. Just slightly.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Not mine.**

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Unfortunately, it seems Astra's nightmares run too deep and dark to be soothed by tea. It's almost midnight when the screaming starts, but by the time Alex gets to Astra's cell, she's already woken up. Kryptonians don't show physical signs of sleep deprivation, but if they did, Alex is pretty sure that Astra would have circles under her eyes. She doesn't say anything, just leaning against the wall, keeping her distance as Astra's head tilts forward so that thick ringlets of dark chocolate hide her from the world. Their uneasy truce hangs between them in the air, and Alex thinks proximity might do more harm than good at this point. Particularly since she has the strangest urge to wrap Astra in her arms and hold her until the nightmares leave.

"Kara was scared of the microwave."

It's the first thing that pops into her head. Why, Alex has no fucking clue, but she keeps talking anyways. "She used her laser vision the first time I tried to show it to her because she thought it was going to explode. Then the second time, I made the mistake of putting a bag of popcorn in, and the popping noise scared the crap out of her again." She smiles slightly. "I don't think she likes it even now."

"Microwave?" Astra repeats after a moment, her voice slightly wobbly. Alex pretends not to notice. "I am unfamiliar with this term."

"It's an appliance you use to cook food," she explains. "Like a mini stove."

"You know everything about her that I missed. Everything I can never make up for." Astra's hands curl into fists. "Things I should have known if my people were not such stubborn, closed-minded fools." Alex doesn't really know what to say to that, but she's saved from the necessity of speaking when Astra looks up at her with wide, almost hungry eyes. "Tell me about what I missed. I…..I wish to know. Please."

"Let me go grab a chair so I don't have to sit on the floor. I'll be right back." Alex heads to her office, grabbing the rolling chair and a water bottle for Astra. She only hesitates a second before adding the throw blanket draped over the armchair in the room (both gifts from Kara after she found out how often Alex ended up crashing at the DEO after a long night's work instead of making the drive back to her apartment). Kryptonians don't get cold, but maybe it will help anyways.

"If I open the door to give you these, are you going to smell my neck again?" she asks wryly, trying to ignore the flash of heat that the memory engenders. Best not to think about how it's cropped up in her dreams since then. Astra blinks in confusion and then smirks.

"The next time my face is so close to you, it will be because you ask," she drawls, and god, it's not fucking fair how her voice is so….. _sexy_. Alex all but tosses the water and blanket in and can't quite get the door shut fast enough. Astra downs half the bottle in one go—apparently nightmares make Kryptonians thirsty—and picks up the blanket, rubbing the soft wool between thumb and forefinger. "My people do not—"

"You don't get cold, yeah, I know. But I thought it might help anyways. It's pretty soft." Alex flops down in the chair and shifts until she's comfortable.

Astra eyes her, face unreadable, but after a moment, her expression softens. "If I give you my word to keep my distance…will you come and sit with me? I feel….improper….with you on the other side of the glass when you are doing me such a great service."

Alex considers for a moment. Astra obviously holds humans in disdain and wouldn't think twice about snapping her neck, but if she did that, Kara would never forgive her. There's also the fact that Astra has had the chance to kill her twice now and didn't. "Yeah, I guess not." She turns up the inhibitors just a tiny bit—just to be safe—before opening the door and settling on the opposite side of the cell. Astra shrugs the blanket over herself, and it's hard not to smile at how docile and…. _cute_ ….she looks. "Well," Alex begins, thinking back years and years to before she even knew how bright and beautiful Kara's smile was, "let me tell you, I wasn't always a good big sister. Kara didn't know shit about Earth, and it was really hard to have to walk around with her constantly asking what a car was and why everyone seemed to like this band so much…."

She talks and talks for hours, telling Astra everything. At one point she leaves to grab her laptop, thankful that Kara has uploaded a bunch of old photos to Facebook of them as kids. It doesn't escape her notice that in order to show her the photos, Astra will need to be seated at her side, and an inexplicable flutter thrills through Alex's chest and stomach as she shifts until Astra is close enough that her hair is almost brushing the human woman's face. The general smells like leather and wind and something else, a sharp, spicy, earthy scent, and Alex licks suddenly dry lips as she fumbles to explain the basics of social media. Astra, predictably, is both fascinated and disdainful—"I have never heard of a species documenting their every waking moment for the enjoyment and approval of strangers"—but when Alex tells her that there are photos of Kara on there, the Kryptonian all but begs to see them. Alex finds herself helpless to refuse.

The glow in Astra's eyes as she gazes at the face of her niece makes Alex's throat close and her heart beat just a bit faster inside her chest. A short while later, Alex is explaining the concept of a snowball fight, and Astra throws her head back and _laughs_ as she hears the story of how Kara and Alex challenged the whole neighborhood to war and won. Alex honestly forgets what she was saying; forgets her name and how to breathe, because Astra's smile is like the sun after a week of rain and she thinks that if she could sit here and look at it forever, then that would be enough. Then she wonders what the hell was in her coffee to make her think that. _Keep it together, Danvers._

It's almost 4 in the morning when Alex can barely keep her eyes open and Astra lets out a jaw-cracking yawn. "I should get some sleep," Alex mumbles, closing the lid of her laptop. Walking back to her office sounds like an awful chore, but there will be hell to pay if she's found in here. Even if she really, really wants to stay right where she is, close enough that Astra's scent wreaths around her and she can nearly feel the heat of the other woman's skin. "You can keep the blanket."

"Thank you, Alexandra," Astra says softly. For a split second, Alex thinks she's hallucinating from sleep deprivation, but no, Astra really did use her name. Is that progress?

"It's Alex." She stands and stretches. "Just Alex."

"Alex," Astra repeats. "Your full name sounds much more beautiful, if I do not overstep in saying so."

Alex's heart lurches in her chest (Astra thinks her name is beautiful?) but she tries to pass it off as exhaustion. "Well, only my mom ever uses it, and that's when I'm in a heap of trouble, so it's Alex to you."

Astra's lips curl into a lazy smirk as Alex exits the cell and goes to take the unused rolling chair back where it belongs. "Good night, Alexandra," she says, and Alex barely resists the urge to groan. She does give her eyes a healthy roll as she leaves.

"Being annoying must be a Kryptonian thing," she mutters, although she knows Astra will be able to hear.

The answering chuckle behind her stays with her long after she's drifted into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Not mine.**

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This is a horrible, awful, terrible idea, but Astra clearly is haunted by whatever happened in Fort Rozz during her imprisonment and Alex can't deny anymore that she cares about the woman. Who just so happens to be a psychopathic ecoterrorist, but hey. At least she's not the leader of a murderous group of alien prisoners.

Oh, wait.

Alex chews on the inside of her cheek as she approaches Astra's cell, a kryptonite collar in her hand. Astra eyes her warily, taking a step back as her eyes flicker down to the collar and then back to Alex's face, and Alex is reminded, ridiculously, of the scene in that infernal horse movie Kara had made her watch a million times where the Native American boy let the horse out of its corral, but it backed away when it saw he was carrying a bridle. "Alexandra?"

"You seem to be having a hard time sleeping in here," Alex says carefully. "I can't let you out without some kind of restraint, so my offer comes with this condition." She holds up the collar. "But if you want….you can sleep in my office instead. Maybe the nightmares won't be so bad if your bed isn't a block of stone."

Astra blinks, a look of surprise crossing her beautiful face, but she merely nods. Alex turns off the kryptonite inhibitors before stepping into the cell—probably not her smartest move, but she's not sure if it would be too much adding the effects of the inhibitor and the collar together. Besides, Astra's had chances to break out and didn't; she's said herself that she wants to stay here, for Kara.

Alex wonders now if that's really true.

Alex locks the collar around Astra's neck. "Too tight?" she asks, stepping away, although she kind of wants to stay right where she is. Astra smells _really_ nice.

Astra rolls her neck and shrugs, testing the device. "It is not terribly comfortable, but if I must wear it to escape this cell, then so be it."

"Great, let's go." Alex turns her back on Astra, fully aware of the significance of that one gesture. Kryptonite collar or no, Astra is still a general; has still spent years training in combat. And Alex is willing to bet that she knows hand-to-hand—after all, on Krypton, she didn't have superhuman powers. But she offers her back anyways, because…

Oh, god. She _trusts_ Astra.

This just keeps getting better. Soon Alex is going to suggest to Hank that Astra fucking work with them like Kara does. She'd be locked up here for life anyways, so why not make use of her, right? Hank would most likely fire her on the spot for even thinking such a thing, let alone voicing it. _"Hey, boss, I have a great idea…"_

"If your heart beats any louder, I fear even weak human ears will be able to hear it. Do you truly fear me so?"

Alex actually jumps, spinning around to face the other woman. She'd gotten so caught up in her musings that she completely forgot that the subject of said musings is walking not a foot behind her. "You don't scare me."

"Says the one who startled," Astra quips, something like mischief sparkling in her eyes. "You leaped like a…a…." She frowns. "Those tiny animals with the ridiculously large ears and the noses that….twitch?"

"Rabbit," Alex supplies, trying and failing to suppress a snicker. "They're called rabbits. Or bunnies. That's the name Kara prefers."

"Bunnies." Astra rolls the word around in her mouth, and that does it. Alex breaks into laughter, because the feared, powerful, noble general looks so confused and somewhat disgusted at how cutesy the word is. "Stop laughing!"

"You're killing me," Alex gasps.

Astra backs up in alarm. "I have not laid a hand on you!"

That almost sets Alex off again—sleep deprivation must be catching up with her—but she's not really sure how well Astra would take it if she completely lost it, so Alex just bites her tongue and counts to ten in English, French, Italian, Spanish and German. She makes it all the way to seven in Romani before she deems it safe enough to speak. "Sorry, just….I didn't mean it literally. It's a joke."

"Why would you make a joke about being killed?" Astra's brow knits. "I would think saying that to someone would be an extremely bad thing."

"Never mind," Alex chuckles. She wishes she could tell Kara about this, but any mention of Astra probably isn't what her little sister needs. Not after she nearly set her sanctuary on fire trying to burn a hole through holo-acura's head.

 _Alura_.

Alex debates what she's about to ask for a good thirty seconds before voicing it: "Astra, do you want me to show you your sister's hologram?"

The expression on Astra's face feels like someone has run Alex through. A combination of pain, anger, longing and love race across the general's countenance as tears gather in her eyes, although she doesn't let them fall. Alex can't resist reaching out and laying a gentle hand on the Kryptonian's shoulder. "We don't have to. I just…thought maybe—"

"Please." Astra's voice is choked and quivering, and Alex can feel her trembling ever so slightly. "Please."

Alex is utterly shocked that Astra actually said 'please', but she just nods, giving the firm muscle beneath her hand a soft squeeze. "C'mon."

* * *

It's painful to watch Astra in front of her sister's expressionless, emotionless hologram, but Alex can't bring herself to leave. She can only imagine how hard this is for Astra, and although they really aren't even friends, Alex doesn't want to make her go through this alone. So she stands and keeps vigil, tears threading gently down her cheeks.

"Alura." Astra's voice _aches_ , her legs folding beneath her as though she can no longer bear the weight of the past that ripped them apart so cruelly. Her shoulders heave. "I'm so sorry…please, forgive me…."

"I am not programmed to do that." The hologram's voice is gentle, but it holds no emotion.

"You always had to do what you thought was right. I admired that so much….but why couldn't you have just listened? You know I was right; you had to know! Tell me why, Alura!" Astra's fingers dig into the floor, ripping up chunks of the steel panel, and she gazes desperately up at the last echo she has of her sister. "Please!"

"I am not programmed to give you that information."

Astra screams, a heartbreaking, soul-wrenching cry, and Alex is at her side before she even realizes she's moved. She doesn't hug Astra, unsure how the Kryptonian would react, but she grips her shoulder again, squeezes hard so Astra can feel it. "Hey, shh," she soothes, remembers soothing Kara such a short time ago. Alex would never, ever say this, but she's kind of starting to hate Alura for causing her family so much pain. Couldn't the woman have climbed into the fucking pod with her daughter? There was plenty of room.

Maybe she can ask the hologram some other time. Whether it will answer, she doesn't know.

Astra is saying something in Kryptonese. Alex's grasp of the language is rudimentary at best—it's a hell of a lot more complex than any tongue spoken on Earth—and so she doesn't know exactly what it all means, but she catches the word 'love' several times and, once, 'family'. The first two words Kara taught her, right before telling her the word for—

"I love you, sister," Astra whispers despondently. She never takes her eyes from Alura's hologram, which is still staring impassively down at the two of them. Alex hates to leave Astra's side, but she stands to go turn the damn thing off. Astra's hand shoots out and grabs her wrist, and Alex yelps at the strength of the grip. "Don't," Astra begs softly, looking up at Alex, and suddenly it's hard to breathe as she sees a thirteen-year-old Kara staring up at her, haunted and shattered by the world she watched die.

"Okay. Okay." Alex kneels again, and Astra releases her. They stay like that for a long time, Alex silently watching as Astra drinks in the sight of her sister. Then Astra's voice breaks the silence, so soft that it's barely audible:

"You're a much better sister to Kara than Alura and I were to one another. You would do anything to keep her safe. When you told me you wanted to be a hero…" She laughs, hollow and scornful. "You sounded like me, all those years ago. Before Alura chose her duty over me...over Kara."

"Is that why you were so angry?" Alex asks gently. Astra shifts so that her head is resting against Alex's shoulder, and without thinking, Alex lifts a hand to brush that streak of startling silver out of the general's eyes.

"Kara trusts you. She loves you. She looks at you the way she once looked at me…like I was all that would ever matter to her. But now…" Astra lets out a jagged sob. "I fear I have lost her forever."

"We both know Kara can't hate anyone." Alex's fingers work through dark, silky hair, her cheek absently leaning against the crown of Astra's head. "She loves you, Astra. Believe me. Having to fight you….it's tearing her apart." The way things are going, it's going to start tearing Alex apart too. "You're all she has left of Krypton. I mean, she has her cousin, but he doesn't remember. He just knows what he's been told, what he's learned. You know the color of the skies at sunset and what the air smelled like and how to make her favorite food…" Alex trails off, feeling somewhat hollow. She can't ever give Kara back what was lost.

"She is too much like her mother."

"I think she's more like you than you realize." Since meeting Astra, Alex has seen her in her niece; in Kara's bravery and determination and unwavering devotion to what she believes in. "I didn't know Alura, but…"

"I loved her," Astra whispers hoarsely, curling into her. Alex's chest aches as she wraps Astra in a tight embrace.

"Yeah, I know."

They don't speak again for the rest of the night. Astra doesn't move, seeming almost to need Alex's presence and the comfort she offers. Alex, for her part, just strokes Astra's hair, wondering how everything could have gone so very wrong for the two twins and trying not to think of the fact that maybe it's genetic.

Eventually her eyelids grow too heavy to lift, and Alex lays down on the floor and tucks Astra a bit more comfortably against her. The general shifts so that her head rests over the human woman's heart, and in her sleepy state Alex doesn't think twice about moving, or about dropping a soft kiss onto Astra's hair.

"G'night," she murmurs, and is dead to the world.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Not mine.**

* * *

"Tell me about Krypton's most well-known philosopher."

"The most famous philosopher on Krypton was known as Kor-Un the Enlightened. Born in the year 6000 AK, Kor-Un developed a theory of the unconscious psyche that went on to become the basis of psychology as a proper field..."

This hologram is not my sister; I know that. But philosophy was her favorite subject area, and if I close my eyes, I can imagine her explaining it to me the way she used to before fate tore us apart. Or perhaps it was our respective ambitions. Twins on Krypton were not only exceedingly rare, but also seen as a scandal—in a society where everything has its place, what use were two copies of the same object? How could I, reckless and bold and brash, ever measure up to my genteel, polite, logical sister? I lived in Alura's shadow my whole life. In truth, that was the main reason I decided to join the military, for if I was already a disgrace, what did it matter that a noble daughter of In-Ze shirked her role to walk the battlefield? Alura was everything I could never hope to be; I could fall no further in the eyes of our peers. Particularly our own parents.

In spite of all that, we never clashed because of what society put upon us. Sometimes I think Alura knew me better than I myself did. I loved her fiercely, and whenever our parents expressed their disapproval of me, she was the one who would rise to my defense. I would have died for her, as would she for me.

And yet what I cannot understand was her blind faith in the Council. She could not see the truth before her until it was too late…or perhaps she simply waited too long to act. In the end, the result was the same. Our planet died, and her along with it. I could forgive my sister anything, but when her actions led to such pain and devastation—when they cost Kara her entire world—that is something I will never absolve Alura of. No matter how it pains me.

Alexandra stirs in my arms, shifting position until she's comfortable. The movement breaks me from my thoughts, and I stare down at her with a mix of emotions I cannot even begin to name. Or perhaps I simply am not willing. At the moment, I don't care to know which. All I do know is that she's like no other human I've met before. She fascinates me...perhaps more than she should.

At first, I thought to take advantage of her kindness, hoping that perhaps she could be of use to me. Knowing that she grew up with my little one only made me more determined to ensnare her. But to my great surprise, she held her ground against me. I knew she was brave from the first time we met, of course, but I didn't expect her to display such strength. That only made me like her more. Now, I find myself with an ally…no, more than that. The only correct term is...a friend.

I can think of nothing else to call her. She stayed by my side in the night when she had no reason to, showed me kindness beyond anything I had ever expected a human to display, and never once has she asked anything of me. I thought this place a nest of vile, cruel beasts, but I know Kara—and Alexandra—would never stand to keep such company. It makes me wonder how many humans in this world are like them.

I have not had a friend since I was very young, due to both my disgrace and the fact that Alura was the only friend I ever wished for. When we grew older and grew apart, I had no use for friends, not when I knew the very ground we stood on was going to collapse beneath us. Nothing mattered but saving Krypton. When I failed at that task, all I could do was beg Alura to listen to me. It seems in the end, she did. I would give anything to speak to her again but once; the fact that I never told her I loved her haunts me to this day, a physical pain I carry inside of me. Whatever grudges I may hold, whatever sins I cannot forgive, she was my sister. This hologram before me will never be Alura, but it is all I have left of her. That, and Kara. My precious little one.

Although the loss of my planet aches raw, if Kara was all that survived, I can do nothing but be grateful. Even before the end, when Alura had faded from my grasp, Kara was my light in the otherwise impenetrable darkness. She was the one person I would have risked everything for. Which, in the end, was my downfall. Even so, if my imprisonment meant that I can be here now with my little one, then in a strange way, I am grateful. The twelve years I spent believing her dead will haunt me until the day I join my ancestors, but grieving the past can do nothing to alter our future. I have found her, and now, nothing could make me leave her again. Abandoning my cause the way she wishes is unthinkable, after what I have lost in its name, but something has changed within me since this ordeal with Alexandra began. Sometimes I think….perhaps….but wishing is for children, something I learned long ago. I know what I must do in order to protect this planet, and if it breaks the trust that Alexandra has placed in me, that is her burden to bear. Not my own.

My sense of time remains infallible in spite of the fact that I am imprisoned underground, and so I know that dawn isn't far away. It would be a poor form of repayment for Alexandra's kindness if she were to suffer consequences on my behalf. I stand, lifting her into my arms, careful not to move too much and wake her. She stirs but stays in slumber, resting her head against my shoulder. The movement engenders a rush of warmth that spreads through my chest, nearly causing me to stumble in shock, and not for the first time I find myself questioning my feelings. I can no longer deny that I am fond of her, but there's something more, something I can't recall ever feeling before. It causes me to pause, to look at her face as she sleeps and find that it expresses a peace I have never seen in her before. I know well the burdens a warrior carries, but Alexandra is something different than I. She fights not for the millions or for any ideal, but for one person, one person for whom she could break mountains if that was what was required of her. That a mere human could display such strength is nothing short of astounding. I greatly admire that. In another lifetime, I would make her my own.

However, we are at war, and whatever my own conflict, I know such a thing could never be. I will not abandon this planet, no matter what consequences may befall me. The loss of Krypton nearly destroyed me, and now that my little one has claimed Earth as her own, I am all the more determined to save it. I also harbor no delusions of this world ever accepting those from outside it. Kal-El and Kara have found homes here, but to keep them, they must hide, shirking their heritage and the powers granted them by the yellow sun. I could never do such a thing.

It is fortunate that none of her comrades are here to bear witness to our passing, although I find myself ducking into a hallway to avoid a man who, from the strong scent of chemicals, I suspect to be some sort of caretaker. The place that must be her office is not hard to find. In this place of stone and brick, her scent is strong and easy to follow. It suits her; a warm, rich aroma that I find more pleasing than perhaps I should. I carefully lay Alexandra upon the chair in her office, but as her weight slips out of my arms, I find myself reluctant to leave her behind. I linger, tracing the noble lines of her face with my fingertips, smoothing over a crease in her brow that has not softened even though she sleeps. "You are truly a noble creature, Alexandra Danvers," I breathe. In a fit of recklessness, I lean down, pressing my lips to her forehead and letting her scent surround me. Something stirs in my chest, an ache that I cannot allow myself to dwell upon. Straightening up, I exit, making the short journey back to my containment. Fortunately for Alexandra, I will be able to offer an excuse as to why I am wearing this collar instead of the cellular inhibitors being in effect. I carefully lay Alexandra upon the chair in her office, but as her weight slips out of my arms, I find myself reluctant to leave her behind. I linger, tracing the noble lines of her face with my fingertips, smoothing over a crease in her brow that has not softened even though she sleeps. "You are truly a noble creature, Alexandra Danvers," I breathe. In a fit of recklessness, I lean down, pressing my lips to her forehead and letting her scent surround me. Something stirs in my chest, an ache that I cannot allow myself to dwell upon. Straightening up, I exit, making the short journey back to my containment. Fortunately for Alexandra, I will be able to offer an excuse as to why I am wearing this collar instead of the cellular inhibitors being in effect.

The fact that I am bothering to do so at all makes me….uneasy, to say the least. I fear I may be compromised.

And that it is too late to remedy the fact.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Not mine.**

* * *

The fact that you woke up this morning in your own office is…..completely baffling, to say the least. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how you got there—Astra must have taken you after you fell asleep with her in Kara's sanctuary—and that's…well, you're not really sure what to make of that. She could have escaped, she could have killed you, she could have done any number of things, but she didn't. When you checked on her after waking up in a panic, she was in her cell, curled up like a cat and soundly asleep. It was….kind of cute, actually, and the fact that you think that bothers you. Not thinking about it most of the day took a hell of a lot of self-control, because you're really not sure how much of a habit J'onn makes of reading minds at the DEO and you're pretty sure he would have actually killed you if he knew what went down last night. Or the past several nights, where you went into Astra's cell and risked getting your neck snapped and letting her escape.

"Alex?" A hand waves in front of your eyes, snapping you back to reality. "Are you even paying attention?" Kara asks, brows scrunched in an adorable frown. Really, sometimes you wonder if it's a Kara thing or a Kryptonian thing to be so cute.

"Yeah, of course I am." You glance back to the screen, where the Tenth Doctor and Donna are running from a…skeleton in a space suit? What the hell? "Wait, when did that happen?"

She sighs and grabs the remote, hitting pause before turning to you and crossing her arms. "Okay, what's going on? The last time you didn't pay attention before one of our TV nights, I ended up having to spend three nights in the hospital with you after a car crash. Which was really secret DEO business. And don't try to say 'nothing,'" she warns as you open your mouth to do just that. "Being distracted from Doctor Who is very serious business."

No way in hell are you going to tell Kara about Astra's nightmares. That information is hers and hers alone, and it would just complicate an already messy situation. You're still not sure exactly what Kara feels for her aunt-turned-ecoterrorist, but it's definitely more than the 'nothing' she claims it to be. Astra, for her part, seems desperate to connect with Kara again, and if the nightmares are anything to go by, losing her niece seems to be a recurring fear.

Things have changed since the first time you set foot in Astra's cell. Maybe Kara can be the tipping point.

You blow out a breath. "I think you should talk to Astra, Kara. And I don't mean as an interrogation. Just….talk to her. She misses you. Who knows, maybe you can even change her mind."

Kara ducks her head, blonde hair falling forward to hide her face, but you see her hands curl into fists on her lap. "She's not my aunt anymore, Alex. The woman I knew on Krypton….she would never have hurt anyone." Kara's voice quivers. "Whatever happened in Fort Rozz…..it changed her. It destroyed her."

"People do shitty things when they're scared. I'm not saying what she did was right, but if she did it all to save Krypton, to save you….she loved you once. I think she does still. She told me she loves you like her own." You'd doubted it at first, but after what you saw last night, how vulnerable and broken she was in front of her sister's hologram, there's no way it could be anything but the truth. You're not quite sure what to make of that. Astra seems to be a walking contradiction, loving her niece so fiercely and yet so determined to stand against her.

"She did?" The quiver in Kara's voice hits you right in the chest as she gazes up at you with fragile hope shining in her eyes, and you vow right here and now that you're going to make this reunion thing work, no matter what. You're not quite sure if it's more for your sister or for Astra, though, and that's…..

More than a bit unnerving.

"Yeah. She did." You gently cover Kara's white-knuckled hand with your own. "You know how good I am at reading people, Kara, and she wasn't lying." It's hard to forget the heartbreak and love juxtaposed on Astra's face as she'd spoken those words to you what seems like forever ago, and for some reason you feel a twinge in your chest as you wonder if Astra has given up on mending things with Kara. Or if Kara has given up herself.

Kara's lip shakes, and she swipes at her eyes. "I don't—I don't know what to do, Alex. I can't trust her."

"Then trust me." You squeeze Kara's hand. "She's your family, Kara. I think she needs you." Just as much as Kara needs her, but you keep that thought to yourself. There's still a very good chance this could all fall apart, and the last thing Kara needs is false hope.

Kara leans over, and you open your arms, gathering her close and stroking soft circles onto her back. She tucks her face against your shoulder the way she always does whenever she's feeling afraid or sad, and you feel a rush of combined sadness and gratitude—sadness that this shitshow happened, that Krypton died and her only real family could very well break her, and gratitude that you can be here for her. You murmur soothing nothings into her hair, waiting until she relaxes against you and her breathing isn't quite so shaky. "It's going to be okay," you whisper, and god, you really shouldn't make that promise, but this is Kara and so you're damn well going to make it be okay even if it isn't. That's what big sisters do. "It's going to be okay."

There's a long, long silence, one that stretches so far you think that Kara isn't ever going to say anything. She hasn't let go of you, so you try to reach over her to grab the remote and start watching again, but as your fingers close over it, you hear the tiniest whisper: "She taught me about the stars."

Instantly your mind flashes back about eleven and a half years to the night you'd woken to find Kara missing from your bed. It had been a normal evening; Kara had crawled into bed with you about an hour after you fell asleep, trembling from yet another nightmare. At this point, you were so used to it that her arrival barely even roused you; you'd just held your arms open and she had curled into them before you both fell asleep, but when you woke some time later out of thirst, she'd been gone. One quick look out the window confirmed your suspicions, and you'd opened it and poked your head out, watching as Kara closed the heavy book on astronomy she'd taken from Jeremiah's study and turned toward you.

"Hey," you yawned, rubbing your eyes.

"Hey." Kara's smile was small and sad, and it made your chest ache. "What are you doing awake?"

"Thirsty." You yawned again and climbed through the window. "You can't sleep?"

"The skies are really clear tonight. I thought I could do some research."

"Since when were you an astronomy nerd?" Your shoulder gently bumped her own as you settled beside her. "Did you get bored with reading Mom's books on quantum string theory?"

Kara bit her lip, although that didn't stop it from shaking. "Back—back home—" Her voice cracked, and you pulled her close to you, holding her tight as she curled into your side. "My aunt….she used to teach me all about the stars in Krypton's skies. Every last one. She knew them all; knew their names and their sizes and how old they were and which galaxies they were in. And she knew the planets too. She used to tell me stories about the ones she'd visited. I thought….maybe…." She looked down at the book, a hitching sob released against your shoulder.

"That maybe it would make you feel closer to home." Your throat tightened, anger bubbling in your stomach at whatever fucked-up turn of fate had done this to your sister, but you didn't let it show. This was about Kara. "If it makes you feel better…you can tell me all about them." Your father had taught you all about the solar system, about each planet and the moons and asteroids, but Kara knows about stars from other worlds. Selfishly, you want to have her tell you.

There was a long silence, broken only by Kara's sniffles. Finally she lifted a hand to rub her eyes and then used it to point to your left. "That's the Centaurus galaxy. W-where Krypton was. You can't see it from here, but our sun is there. A red giant named Rao. We were part of a group of planets known as the Intergalactic Cluster, and around us were Raxacor-2, Hyrule, D'Qar and Tamaran…"

"Yeah. I remember." You bend your neck, pressing a soft kiss to her silky blonde hair. "You idolized her, didn't you?"

"She was my hero." Kara trembles in your arms.

"I think she wants to be again."

"I can't lose her again, Alex." The words sit on your chest, heavy with hope and grief and fear and a thousand other things. "I can't."

"You won't," you say, and you pray to every god you've ever heard of that you're telling the truth. "You won't."


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Not mine.**

* * *

"Astra?" Alex steps into the room, not even bothering to try and hide her smile. "I have a surprise for you."

Astra sits up from where she'd been lounging on the stone bench, looking both curious and somewhat confused. "A….surprise?"

"Yeah. Someone is here to see you." She steps aside, and Kara enters the room. The blonde appears confident, shoulders back and chin up, but Alex can tell she's nervous by the way her arms come up and fold across her chest, creating a barrier between herself and her aunt. Alex backs up a few steps and quietly switches the inhibitors all the way off, gaze never leaving her sister and Astra.

Astra stands slowly, a look of awe and unbridled joy crossing her face. Tears gleam in her eyes as she steps up to the glass and presses her palm against it. "Little one," she breathes, her voice achingly fragile like spun glass. Alex's chest aches sharply, but it's a good kind of pain, and she's glad neither Kryptonian is watching her as she sneakily swipes the beginnings of moisture from her eyes.

Kara swallows hard, her fingers curling into the sleeves of her Supergirl uniform. "I'm not here to—to ask you anything, Astra. I'm not here to negotiate or because I—because I want something from you. I'm here because—" She pauses, glancing back at Alex, and her lips quirk into a tiny smile. "Because my sister believes in you. And I believe in her."

Astra blinks in shock, a single tear streaking down her cheek as she raises her eyes to Alex's through the glass. Alex feels her face heating up. She didn't expect Kara to say that, but she can't really say she's bothered by the prospect of Astra knowing that someone believes in her, even if that someone isn't Kara. At least, not yet.

"Thank you, Alexandra." The smile that lights Astra's face is beautiful to behold. Alex spends a good five seconds trying to remember how to speak English before she finally just nods and exits the room, hoping her steps don't look too hasty.

Now it's up to Kara and Astra. All she can do is wait.

-x-

Kara exhales slowly as Alex leaves the room. She's halfway tempted to ask her to stay with her, but this is one thing that her big sister can't help her with. This time, Alex can't act as a barrier or a shield, can't make everything right if it goes wrong. Now it's just her and Astra. And that thought is….well, it's terrifying.

Alex was right about what Astra wanted. The look on her face as Kara walked in, the fragile hope, mirrored what Kara felt inside herself, a desire to run far away warring with memories of a woman who had held her so tight and told her that she was loved. She still isn't sure how much of that woman survived Fort Rozz, but Astra's eyes are glowing as they meet her own, and in spite of everything, Kara feels like maybe…..just maybe….

"So, what do you want to talk about?" she asks at last. "This is up to you, Astra. Not to me."

Astra takes a breath. "I wish to talk about you. Agent Danvers was kind enough to share some details with me, but…..tell me about your life, little one. Everything. Please."

Kara settles on the ledge next to the glass, silent as she looks for a place to begin. "Well, that's….kind of a long story. I mean, I've been here for twelve years."

The tiny, tremulous smile her aunt offers feels like a promise as she says, "We have time."

Kara slowly nods. "I guess we do."

In this moment, it's enough to make her hope. Just a little.


End file.
